Hey Doctor Cockney,
My friends say I’m really bad at telling if a girl is flirting with me..they reckon I miss out on loads of pulling opportunities as a result. My question is how can I tell if a girl is flirting?
Thanks
M
This week The Doc investigates the shag buddy, booty call phenomenon. You know friends with added benefits – it’s a funny one so don’t miss it!
Doctor Cockney finds out if anyone has a minute to spare to help him find out how long should foreplay last. A really useful public information film for the ladies, but if you’re a guy then you probably won’t care what foreplay is. More sex questions over at http://doctorcockney.podshow.com .
The Doc tries to get in touch with his holistic side and inner self this week as he visits the London Vitality Show. Why? Well he wants to know what the secret is to good health and if it involves sex at all – does magnotherapy make you more attractive, can anti aging cream be used a lubricant and does been muscular make you firmer in all areas? these are just some of the things the good ol Doc finds out. It’s a funny one so don’t miss it!
This week the Doc’s question of the week is….. what is the kindest way to dump someone? You know give them the old heave ho..tell them to push off.. give them the elbow. Tell them c you later..
Its a mean world and these ladies are even meaner..
Dear Formula one driver,
Thanks for the question? In a word you are quite quick BUT don’t be disheartened… She hasn’t complained ! which probably means she’s getting a proper rogering on the side and is hiding it from you quite well!! or from another view point she cares enough about you to stay with you despite your trigger happy piston..
There are a number of things you can do to stop you …….. too early and I’ll be covering them in a future blog. In the meantime, try the old tested method of waxing your shuttle half an hour before your due to have it off..it will make you last longer second time aorund..
Oh and in answer to how quick is too quick it depends..if your girl is shuddering her socks off before you do..then no your not too quick…so spend more time on foreplay!!
And on the upside your on the right track of thinking of it in strokes..just aim one higher each time..so go for 21 next time your on the job and so on..it really does help in two ways ..take your mind away from the banging and gives you a goal to achieve..
Hey doc, just wanted to know when your having one off with your lady how quick is Premature? Not that she’s complained or anything but I always seem to blow my load before her? In all honesty once I’m IN I reckon I average about quick 20 strokes before I’m spent. Is that really too quick as all the surveys suggest I should be doing it for at least 5 minutes..
Anom
When you see someone for the first time and you think ‘Id would like some of that!” Is it love or lust that gets you stirring. Well DR C finds out in this week’s show.
It was a funny shoot really. The doc went tie shopping in Harrods, bought one put it on and then as soon as we got out some of the local ladies made a bee line to him and he was away..within a couple of hours we had a show!!
So there I was on the tube this morning, minding my own business, reading the Metro, finding out who has been killed, shagged, raped, mugged, drugged, dumped, pimped, ripped off, had their leg amputated, glass eye stolen, jailed, hospitalized, water cut off, crashed their car, lost their house, lost their child and which bank has gone bust when I saw a lovely picture of a Rabbit..yes amidst all the drudgery and horror there was a happy innocent spring Rabbit..A really happy spring rabbit with a huge grin on its face..why? well as I looked down I realized why!! it was in full mount on another rabbit. Yes the brief dream of innocence that I had been lulled into was quickly popped as I realized this was Rabbit Porn.
A journo from Metro had gone out and bought a copy of Playbunny or judging by the looks of the older rabbit that the young buck was riding ‘readers pets’ stuck it in the lifestyle section of the paper and rolled out another load of lucid and really interesting sex facts..
“Apparently, sex helps almost everything.!!”
Was statement one..Really.. tell that to a Tibetan Monk currently serving time in one of Beijings finest.. actually it might be the monks get out of jail card and am sure he can ask for forgiveness..
” Statement two …Fear not, in a few weeks, we’ll all be feeling more frisky. Spring improves sex drive; energy levels surge and our pheromones, the chemicals we produce to attract mates, soar.”
So in January I read it was the biggest time for couples splitting and now April is the best time for shagging..people are really just like clockwork…
“How long should sex last?
The best sex should last between seven and 13 minutes, according to a recent report from the American Journal of Sexual Medicine.
However, even three-minute sex is deemed ‘adequate’ – good news for some and bad for others. Anything beyond 13 minutes is considered ‘too long’.”
Do they mean 13 minutes of actual banging? or are they including foreplay? and what speed are they talking about? surely 2 minutes of seriously fast ‘doggy style’ action is better than 13 minutes of cuddling, snuggling, slow grinding I love you sex..
I’m going to let the Doc comment on that..
How often should you have sex?
The question of how often we should do it is often debated.
The majority of 25 to 34-year-olds have sex three to four times a week, according to the most recent Durex Global Sex Survey. For 35 to 44-year-olds, it’s more likely to be twice a week.
Relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam explains: ‘We all know how it works – when you’re new lovers you have sex nearly every time you meet – it’s a hormonal thing.
But after a few years the bonking goes down and the talking goes up. After that, research shows chemicals change. Men, in particular, change.
Once they’ve bonded with a woman and know they can have her, they don’t have the same urgency to have sex.’”
So that’s it? In a nutshell the reason for rising divorce, affairs and people hiring a hitman/woman (we are PC here) to knock off their other half.
So I went from happy innocent rabbit to ‘mate dont bother with a girlfriend or wife the sex will dry out, you’l start to argue (and wont be able to make up through sex anymore), the milkman will call more often (even though they no longer exist), you’ll both start taking up new exciting hobbies like still life painting, dog grooming or gardening ( some men will do this literally..but that’s another story) and maybe if your lucky you’ll get divorced and have a chance to have a few years of happyness all over agaiin before hitting the same cycle again..
Great would rather have continued reading about all the theft’s, torture, drug dealing maniacs, granny porn, child eating dogs….
You can read the full Metro article and see a pic of the happy rabbits here
Doctor Cockney answers…
“A.Bloke, I like your thinking. There is indeed a little trick that you and your partner can play that is very similar to the entertainment you viewed in Amsterdam. I like to call it marbling. Now there is no need for you to use any balls or spherical shaped objects, basically it’s just another name i like to give to the term cumming. So rather than cumming on her tits, you’re marbling them. Probably not exactly what you had in mind, but it’s as close as I have found on my quest for sexual therapy”.
